day 03 : something you have to forgive yourself for

There are a lot of things that I have done in my life that I regret, in some way, but I wouldn't want to go back and change any of them. I know if anything changed, I may not be where I am right now. And even though where I am right now has its' ups and downs, I wouldn't want to have it any other way.

One thing, however, that I regret more than anything, is the time that I let another person get between me and Cade. I don't think I ever mentioned it on this blog, but two years ago, for about 3 months, Cade and I weren't together. Things in our relationship were not at their best. He was not listening to me when I asked him to stop playing video games so much, and he was making me miserable. I barely spoke to him at all while I was away over the summer in Venezuela, and then I broke up with him when I got back. I started dating another guy, and I was happy, until we broke up. I am extremely lucky that Cade was willing to take me back after what happened. I do believe that it was a big wake up call for us, to see exactly how our lives would be without each other. I would have regretted it forever if I hadn't tried to make things right between us, and I remember what happened every single day.

I still feel guilty for what happened, but it makes me value our relationship so much more, to know how fragile it really is.

delicious lemon bars

On Sunday Cade, Bean and I went to Cade's mom's house to barbecue for the 4th of July. Even though Cade and I both had work that day, and we missed the fireworks (the first year in my life, ever!) it still turned out to be a pretty awesome day.

I have been wanting to make these vegan lemon bars that I saw on Chelsea's blog, Seablanket. I bought all the stuff to make them one week at Walmart (you know, the only store around here...) and they were out of lemons (the lady even went in the back to check for some)... so, into the cabinets everything went to never be seen again. I actually kind of forgot all about it until the other day. I don't cook much. Hah. But Cade's mom found me a couple of lemons (they must have been the only lemons in the entire state) and I tried to make these bars while Cade was grilling.

So here is Chelsea's recipe for vegan lemon bars:

Supplies Needed:

1 Cup Flour

1/4 Cup Powdered Sugar

1/2 Cup Butter Substitute

2 Tablespoons Applesauce

1 Cup Sugar

2 Tablespoons Flour

1 Tablespoon Grated Lemon Peel

1/2 Teaspoon Baking Powder

2 Tablespoons Lemon Juice

(I shamlessly stole this picture from Chelsea)

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. In a large bowl, combine flour and powdered sugar; cutting in melted butter substitute until crumbly. Press flour mixture into a 8 or 9-inch square pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.

In a small bowl, combine remaining ingredients. Pour lemon mixture over your partially baked crust. Return to oven and bake for 20-15 minutes or until golden brown. Cool completely and if desired, sprinkle with powdered sugar and lemon peel. Cut into bars. Makes 24 Lemon Bars.

I didn't really know if it would matter if I used powdered sugar or regular sugar, and we didn't have any powdered sugar, so I just used regular. And it turned out great. I also didn't bother measuring anything, and I just kind of slopped it all around in the dish until it looked okay. Mine didn't turn out as delicious looking as Chelsea's, so I didn't bother taking a picture... but it was really, really good. I ate half the pan of them, and brought some back to the apartment. Cade wouldn't try them because he saw me using applesauce and he hates applesauce (that boy...).

But I just wanted to let you know that if you are inept at cooking (like me) you too can make a delicious, albeit ugly dessert to wow your family and possibly your fiance, too! (that is, if he likes applesauce...)

day 02 : something you love about yourself

I love the fact that I am really friendly toward everyone, and that I make a point to remember everyone's names. To me, it always feels really special when you meet someone and they call you by name, and they actually remember it the next time you see them. Being friendly is a big deal to me, even though I don't have many friends.

I also love my sense of humor. I am really sarcastic and crazy. Although I may not come off that way through my writing, you can definitely tell the first time you have a conversation with me :)

trends

Walking around the mall, and seeing what they sell in stores lately, I've come to realize that while I like many trends... most of them just confuse me.

You know what I mean, right? No? Okay, well here are a few examples of what I'm talking about...



Gladiator sandals: Let me just get this off my chest. Um, ew. I hate them. I hate everything about them, and they are hideous. Phew. I feel much better now. Can someone please explain to me why these are popular now? I don't want my feet to look like they are in little leather cages. I hope that these go out of style quickly because I am tired of looking at them. Ugh.















Plaid shirts: They are cute. I own two. But why on earth are they seriously like... the ONLY thing that I can find in any stores in the mall. I went into PacSun and it was pretty much, you either got a plaid button-up shirt or you got nothing. Same thing with Delias. Can we please pick another pattern?

















Underwear disguised as shorts: Who wears these? these have like a 1/2 inch inseam! No one wants to see that much of anyone out in public...













Which calls to mind super short dresses: All the dresses I am seeing this year so sooo ridiculously short that I would feel uncomfortable going out in them in public without wearing shorts under them. What's up with that?









And just so I'm not a completely Negative Nancy:
I am loving the retro swimsuits, floral patterns and nautical themed items I am seeing everywhere :)

What do you think of these trends? Do you agree with me or am I just crazy and missing something totally awesome?

day 01 : something you hate about yourself

I hate the fact that I am so self-conscious and I take everything personally. If I hear people whispering, I automatically assume they must be talking about me, and saying something mean about me. If I know that someone doesn't like me, it eats me up inside and drives me crazy. I can't stand knowing that I may have made a bad impression to another person. I am self-conscious and I always seek reassurance about my appearance, my talents, basically everything. I am slowly learning to accept myself more, trying to realize I'm quite awesome, and not as bad as I imagine others perceive me.

30 days of truths

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.




For the next 30 days I will post my response to the above prompts. Leave me a comment if you want to join in! :)

sarah's key

Last week my mom sent me 3 (!!) packages in the mail, as sort of a "Happy Summer!" gift :) In one of the packages, she sent me 4 books that I hadn't heard much about, so I was really excited to get started on them right away. Last night I finished the first book, which was Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay.

Without giving too much away, the story is told from two points of view throughout most of the book. One half is told about a little girl named Sarah living in occupied France during the 40's. She and her parents are taken to a concentration camp by the French police under German orders. She locks her little brother in a cupboard in their house to keep him safe and promises to come back for him later that day.
The other half of the story is set in modern time, and it's about a woman name Julie that finds out a secret connection that she has to Sarah, the little Jewish girl from the 40's.


I thought the book was really really good, and I couldn't put it down the whole time I was reading it. It did make me cry a couple of times, it was so sad. But I enjoyed it. If you liked the Diary of Anne Frank, or the Devil's Arithmetic, you will like this book a lot!