Wednesday, July 7, 2010

day 03 : something you have to forgive yourself for




There are a lot of things that I have done in my life that I regret, in some way, but I wouldn't want to go back and change any of them. I know if anything changed, I may not be where I am right now. And even though where I am right now has its' ups and downs, I wouldn't want to have it any other way.

One thing, however, that I regret more than anything, is the time that I let another person get between me and Cade. I don't think I ever mentioned it on this blog, but two years ago, for about 3 months, Cade and I weren't together. Things in our relationship were not at their best. He was not listening to me when I asked him to stop playing video games so much, and he was making me miserable. I barely spoke to him at all while I was away over the summer in Venezuela, and then I broke up with him when I got back. I started dating another guy, and I was happy, until we broke up. I am extremely lucky that Cade was willing to take me back after what happened. I do believe that it was a big wake up call for us, to see exactly how our lives would be without each other. I would have regretted it forever if I hadn't tried to make things right between us, and I remember what happened every single day.

I still feel guilty for what happened, but it makes me value our relationship so much more, to know how fragile it really is.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Emilie,
    Just some advice - don't ever beat yourself up over your own expectations especially after you realize they needed to change. That's growth, and very healthy. Good for you! Just remember to keep an eye on your own expectations because they are YOURS. It's easy to assume someone else has the same expectations as you, especially when you love them and live with them, but usually they don't always match up perfectly. I think it's a guy thing...but who really knows. hehe. My husband would say "you ALWAYS blame me!" hehe. I wish you and Cade lots of happiness together.
    :)
    I can so relate with you, BTW, because I moved from California to Detroit to be with my fiance (now my husband). It's so fun and exciting going to a new place - I have NO regrets about doing it. We're back in CA now, but often wonder if we'll ever move back to Detroit someday...it's definitely a possibility. :)

    I was so happy to see your comments in my blog today! Thanks for being my first commentor :). I made a comment in return at my blog, but thought I'd send you a copy here -

    Emilie you're SUCH a sweetie! Thanks for the compliments on my jewelry, the "crick" love, and the very nice comments. :)

    You are too funny about exercising! HEY I'm with you - exercising CAN be seriously dangerous for your health. Why do you think I opt for the pool? I don't crunch, run, or fall down in a pool! ha.

    OMG I checked out Loreena McKennitt and she's sort of the Bonnie Raitt of celtic singers, eh? Love her voice! Thanks so much for the new music! I'm going to add one of her songs here. Thanks sooo much!
    love, Sherilyn

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