Sunday, December 12, 2010

good things come to those who wait

(photo by Emily Stevens)

I'm really disappointed. I had been sort of planning a little elopement getaway to New Orleans with Cade, but I've had to put the brakes on that indefinitely. The reason isn't cold feet, or money problems, or any of those usual reasons to postpone a wedding. It's because of stupid health insurance... I need my dad's health insurance to pay for all the expensive medicine I take, and the day I get married, I'm dropped from the plan. As of right now, the insurance my work offers for part time people isn't any good and won't cover my medicine anyway, and I can't get enough hours to be considered full time. So, my only option for right now is to just use my dad's insurance, which I am so grateful that I have. I was just really hoping to get married. I know it's only a piece of paper, and that nothing will change afterwards, because we already live together, and yadda yadda, but it did mean a lot to me, and I'm upset we have to put it off because of that reason. But someday, I'll get my own health insurance, and then we will.

But we're going to still go to New Orleans and enjoy ourselves anyway :) Perhaps in February, for our 5 year anniversary? I think so!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Clear Crick Cottage Jewelry

Hey everyone! I just wanted to take a minute to introduce you guys to a very good friend of mine, Ms. Sherilyn Koss. She has a great little etsy shop called Clear Crick Cottage, where she sells all handmade jewelry made out of all of the prettiest beads in the world.

Recently she made me a beautiful, completely custom made bracelet to wear for my engagement pictures (and my wedding... whenever that happens) and it is absolutely beautiful! This picture is of the bracelet she made for me:

I have some pictures of me wearing it, but I haven't gotten my engagement pictures back yet, so I will post those when I get them. But that picture was one of many that she sent me, showing me different arrangements of beads, colors and clasps. She will take tons of pictures to show you all of the work in progress, and nothing is final until the bracelet is exactly what you want. I wanted an elegant pearl bracelet that included my two favorite colors and a little heart charm. We ended up going with a circle clasp, but she put a heart charm on the bracelet just for me :) As a little added surprise she sent me a simple pearl bracelet that would go with just an every day outfit. I've worn this bracelet almost every single day since I got it because it's so cute and simple, and goes with everything. I get tons of compliments on it every time I wear it.

In addition to making custom jewelry, she also has some beautiful sets in her shop already. A lot of them have earrings, necklace and a bracelet together. I think one of these sets would be a perfect gift for any woman in your life! Here are a couple of her pieces that I am really liking:

You can find all 3 of these in her shop right now!

She has a 20% off coupon code available for the holidays for her blog followers. You can find her blog here.

If you're still doing some holiday gift shopping (or you haven't started at all like me... *cough cough*) go check out her shop! And get something for yourself, too! You deserve it!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

i got a man to stick it out & make a home from a rented house

Does anyone know of a good way to find houses for rent? We're coming up on the end of our apartment lease and I am ready to pack up and get the heck out of here. I looked online for hours the other night, but I could only find 1 house in the area for rent, but I know I've seen tons around. Does that mean you just have to drive around and find them? Or is there a better way?

I can't stand our neighbors, and I couldn't bear the thought of living next to them for another year. Ughhhh. I am hoping we can find something in town (otherwise we'll be out in the middle of nowhere... which could be kinda nice, on second thought) and for cheaper than we currently have.

Any advice?

Thursday, November 25, 2010

engagement photos!

(photo by Emily Stevens)

Go here to view a few of our engagement photos, taken by the lovely Emily Stevens.

I'll post more when we pick up the photo CD from her :) I am excited to see the rest, and I can't wait to meet up to take more pictures... yay!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

invisible illness

I don't normally talk very much about depressing or "bad" things going on in my life on this blog (okay, I don't normally talk very much, period), but I just needed to get some things off of my chest.

(image via weheartit)

I don't think I've ever mentioned it here before, but I have rheumatoid arthritis. I have had this disease since I was a little girl, and it sucks. Before you tell me, "My grandma has that!", let me explain something. Rheumatoid arthritis and osteoarthritis are two different diseases. Osteoarthritis is the one you get when you're old, usually. It's just caused by the wear and tear of living life, and it wears out your joints. Rheumatoid arthritis is an auto-immune disease in which the immune system goes haywire and thinks that your joints aren't supposed to be there... so it attacks them and eats away at your cartilage constantly. It causes pain, stiffness, inflammation, fevers and fatigue, among other things. Imagine that you broke your ankle, and then just picture having that pain constantly, all day, every single day. Imagine someone kicking you in the knee, all day long. This isn't even describing half of the pain. Lately, it has been robbing me of a normal life.

I take 3 different medications to manage this disease.
  • Methotrexate: this is a chemotherapy drug. It was originally used to treat cancer, but it's been used for treatment of RA for a long time now. It has tons of scary side effects. Bloody stool, liver failure, miscarriage, extreme sensitivity to sunlight, fever, loss of appetite, body aches and flu-like symptoms. I take 6 tablets of this every week.
  • Voltaren: this is an anti-inflammatory medication that helps with pain. It doesn't really cause many problems with me, but it gives me heartburn and it makes me a little nauseous when I take it. I take this twice a day.
  • Humira: this is an injectable medication that suppresses my immune system. I run the risk of getting sick more often because this weakens my defenses, but it also stops my immune system from attacking my joints. You can't win, can you? I inject this into my stomach twice a month.
It's hard to explain this disease to someone who doesn't know me. Some days, you can't even tell I have it. On days where I've worked a long shift, though, I can't walk when I get home. Sometimes my ankles get so sore and swollen, I can't put any weight on them at all. I have to crawl on the floor to get to the bathroom, and Cade has to help me do everything. Sometimes I struggle so much to move only to the next room. It's frustrating. It makes me feel completely useless sometimes. I don't look like I have anything wrong with me, most of the time, so people don't usually know I have anything wrong with me. The most annoying and frustrating part that bothers me is when I am at work, and I am limping. Yes, I limp. All the time, basically. And I know this. It really pisses me off to be asked 1000 times a day "Did you hurt your foot?" "What's the matter with your leg?" etc. But the worst is when they just say, "You're limping!"... no. shit. Really? Thanks for pointing that out to me, I had no idea!

Another misunderstanding that people have gets on my nerves even more. Picture this:
Stranger: "Oh, did you hurt your foot?"
Me: "No, I have rheumatoid arthritis."
Stranger: "Ah, yeah... I have that in my knee." or "You're too young to have that."

Osteoarthritis is the one that you get usually when you're old. Rheumatoid arthritis strikes at any age, and it is a whole body disease. You don't just "get it" in your knee. I am in pain 24/7. I don't talk about it much because I don't want to be known as "That-Girl-That-Complains-All-The-Time". Or the crippled girl. You know, once last month, a customer actually asked me, "You crippled or somethin'?". What do you even say to that? Yeah, I didn't know either.

Some days, I can walk around just fine with a barely perceptible limp. You can tell by my hands that I have something wrong with me, and I hate showing my hands to people. My fingers show the tell-tale signs of RA. Other days, I can't move. I can't stand up at all. I have such horrible fatigue that I can sleep for 12 hours and still be exhausted. It's not fun.

A new, more recent frustration has been my medication. We had a change to our health insurance, and my Humira injections now cost $1,760. Per month. Yeah. I have applied for assistance throug the drug company, and they are covering $500 worth of the drug, but that only takes it down to $1,260. I spent 3 weeks trying to get assistance through another company only to be denied yesterday. I haven't had this medicine in 2 months almost. They did tell me to call if I needed help with anything else, though. How kind. Since I've been off of it for so long, I am having a horrible, painful flare up. When I get home from work at night, I can't move. I lay there trying not to cry and making Cade go back and forth bringing me drinks and reheating my heating pad in the microwave. I can't walk at all. Or crawl, because my knees hurt so bad. I have to wheel around the apartment in the wheely computer chair. There's honestly got to be something that can be done about this, but I am just so freaking mad and frustrated that I don't even know where to look first. It really burns me up that customers at my work (I am a pharmacy technician) can get this drug for $20 bucks. WHY CAN'T THAT BE ME? What did I do? What?

Finally, my mom broke down today and just charged the damn shots to a credit card, thankfully. So hopefully I'll be feeling better soon. I have had just about all I can take of this, that's for sure.

Normally, I don't really talk about this to other people. I keep the pain bottled up inside most of the time, and I don't let on that I just want to scream and cry and have my legs amputated. It seems like that would be preferable, most of the time. I don't like to complain or be treated like I'm diseased. I just wish people knew a little more about the struggle I am going through. I know it could be so much worse, and I could be dying of some horrible incurable disease. But at times, I do feel like I am dying of a horrible incurable disease. Right now there isn't a cure for RA, and it can take 10-15 years off of your life expectancy. It's hard to stay positive sometimes when your entire body is radiating with pain, but I am so grateful that I am at least alive.

So yeah... now you know, I'm crippled. It sucks. But I do have a handicapped parking tag, which comes in handy sometimes.

Thanks for reading, and please remember this info if you ever come across someone else that suffers from RA. They will love you for simply understanding their disease.

(THANK YOU, if you read all of this. I appreciate you!!!!)

Sunday, November 7, 2010

hi, how are things?

Bean got fixed on Thursday afternoon, poor little guy. He's all grown up!

I haven't really been keeping up with my blog that much lately (let's face it, I haven't been keeping up at all), but I'm not sure why. It's possibly because I haven't had much of interest going on in my life lately, but I always have things to say. I dunno. I guess I'm just kind of stuck in a rut. Going home to visit my family made me realize just how homesick I am, and that I sincerely can't wait to be able to move back up north as soon as we are able to. I miss the crisp autumn air that comes with September, that we are just now starting to see here in Louisiana. Where are all the colorful autumn leaves? I don't see any here. I miss my mom's cooking, and having talks over tea and House reruns. I miss the ability to pop over to Philly on any given afternoon, a city with endless things to do and see. I miss home.

One of my cousins, who lived around the corner from me, went off to college in Georgia. While I was visiting home, my uncle told me that he thinks he's lost her to the south and that she wouldn't ever move back up to Pennsylvania. He asked if I felt the same, and I can safely say that I couldn't picture myself here for any longer than necessary. I just don't fit in here. I like the way I didn't necessarily live in Philadelphia, but I could go there any time I wanted because it was so close. We don't really have anything like that within a reasonable distance. I enjoy the Southern hospitality I've seen, but I've also seen a lot of bigoted, racist and homophobic comments from people on a regular basis. And forget fitting in around here if you don't go to church. Obviously, that means you're the devil. Obviously. Do you have tattoos? Then you're probably a biker, or trash. Have gay friends? You must want to go to hell. Stuff like that. I don't like it. Don't want to live with it forever, end of story.

So no, I haven't been lost to the south. I'm just here temporarily.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

hometown glory

"Round my hometown
Memories are fresh
Round my hometown

Ooh the people I’ve met

Are the wonders of my world

Last week I flew up to Pennsylvania to visit my family. I've missed them so much. It felt so strange to go back to the house I lived in my whole life, sleep in the bed I have had since I was a kid, and be with my family again. It felt like I never left. It felt like home.

I loved eating my mom's cooking again (I can't cook to save my life). I spent a lot of time with her while I was there, and it was amazing. I wish I could have stayed longer, but I know I'll be back as soon as I can :)

While I was there, my mom and I went to get our hair done, and it was a huge treat because I haven't had the money to get my hair done for MONTHS and I needed it, bad. It felt great to just have time with her to talk and catch up on the things that you just don't remember to talk about over the phone.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

just a quick update...

Today I got to meet with Emily, the girl who is going to be taking our engagement photos for us. We met at Starbucks to have drinks and talk about the photo shoot. It was so much fun to spend time with another girl, since I haven't had a real girlfriend to talk to since... well, senior year of high school? I don't make friends well. But she was so nice! We talked non-stop for almost 2 hours and we barely even mentioned taking pictures!-- I think it's really great that we have things in common and an actual connection... I think that will make our photos extra great. She has a great vision in mind for our photos and her style is just what I like. I am so excited to have an amazingly talented photographer, and possibly even a new friend as well. I can't wait to show you the pictures when we have them done. I really wanted some special pictures to look back on since we're not having a big fancy wedding, so this is important to me :)

Check our her photography, here.

Tonight Cade and I are going on a little date, so I'm excited!

Monday, August 30, 2010

mi hermanita

My little sister, Allison, was just here this past week to spend time with Cade & I. It was the first time I've seen anyone from my family since I've moved here... six months! It was great to see her, although I wish I would have been able to take her to someplace really cool or interesting. I just don't know of much to do around here in Lake Charles, besides eat, or go bowling (and we did both!).

Her 16th birthday is September 6th, but everyone always mistakes her for being my big sister :)

I miss you already, Allison!

Monday, August 2, 2010

workin' on my fitness

I joined a gym here in Lake Charles on Thursday last week. I've gone every day so far, so I'm pretty proud of that. I stayed for at least an hour and a half each time. I'm trying to get healthy, and I want to lose a few pounds. I'm not sure how much I weigh because I don't own a scale, but I think I'll just take a picture of myself to compare it to later. I'd rather not know how much I weigh, really. I'm not going on a diet or anything, just cutting out unnecessary crap, like soda, excess treats, etc. I'm trying to drink more water, and start eating only when I'm hungry, not when I see food that looks good.

I took a Zumba class so far, and I'm planning on trying a few other classes in time. I'm looking forward to feeling better about myself, and feeling healthier. I love the feeling that I get after I leave the gym... I'm proud of myself for actually going on a regular basis, and I hope I can keep it up.

I'm not going to be talking about this too much on here because I'm not turning this into a fitness blog or anything. Just wanted to mention it :)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

day 24 : make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs


This playlist is just a bunch of trance/techno/etc music that I really love. It's some of my favorite music. It's not to anyone in particular. Children by Robert Miles is probably my favorite song of all time.

day 23 : something you wish you had done in your life

I wish that I had planned ahead more when I was in high school, and really decided on a career that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Something I am passionate about. I have some passions, but none of them seem plausible for a career. I would love to pursue photography someday, but I don't think it's a realistic goal right now. Someday I hope to return to school to do something, but I can't make my mind settle on one single path. I do know that I would love to do something creative, but beyond that, I am lost. It's frustrating to me that I graduated from high school 2 years ago, and I have not completed anything school-wise since then. I am proud of myself for becoming a nationally and state certified pharmacy technician, and I am making fairly decent money at the moment. I do know that this job will only be temporary for me, though, because I frankly do not find much enjoyment from it, and it doesn't stimulate me at all. I wish I could just pick something. I don't want to end up going back to school when I'm 90 years old.

day 22 : something you wish you hadn’t done in your life

Hmmm... this is a tough one. I want to say that I wish I hadn't left Cade for the 5 month period that I did, but I do know that it was what was best for us at the time. I think I needed that time away from him to prove to myself that he really was what I wanted, and we both needed to do some growing up.

There are definitely things that could have been handled better, but all in all, I truly wouldn't change anything. I am content with how my life is playing out, and changing any aspect of it might make things turn out wrong. I honestly wouldn't change a thing.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

day 21 : your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before... what do you do?

I would rush to the hospital to be with them, to apologize, and to tell them that I am so happy that they are okay. If they did not survive, then I would feel guilty for the rest of my life, seriously.

I always try to say "I love you", or something nice to someone, when I am leaving because I know that there is always a possibility that I may never see them again. Cade and I usually make an effort never to go to bed angry, and we always kiss each other goodnight. I would never want to have my last memories of someone be a negative thing. I never want to leave a sour taste in anyone's mouth when they think of me.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

day 20 : your views on drugs and alcohol

I've never tried any illegal drugs in my life. I haven't ever really had the desire, and I wouldn't know where to get any even if I wanted to. I work in a pharmacy, so I also see every day what addictions to prescription drugs can do to people. I hate the idea of taking any kind of medication, so I usually avoid taking anything for headaches, or a cold, or simple little things like that. I hate the idea of taking medications for mood or anything emotional because I feel like those types of medications numb people so they can avoid dealing with their problems. I only take the medications that I need to for my arthritis, and I even dislike taking those, but without them I can hardly walk.

(during my first drinking experience in Venezuela)

I grew up with an alcoholic parent (he is 100% better now, sober for many years) so I have witnessed first-hand how things can get out of control with alcohol. I have only had drinks when I was in Venezuela (where I was of legal drinking age), if my mom gave them to me on a holiday, or at one party for New Years' Eve. I am a goody-two-shoes and I don't like to break the law, so I am staying away until I turn 21. I don't intend on drinking often because a) I am not supposed to drink while on the medication methotrexate (for rheumatoid arthritis) and b) I know that children of alcoholics are at a higher risk of becoming one themselves, and I will not let that happen. My dad struggled for a long time with this problem and I know he would never want to see me become a victim to it.

Friday, July 23, 2010

day 19 : what do you think of religion? or what do you think of politics?

I went to Catholic school for 13 years, and learned all about Catholicism, but I have never been Catholic. The public school in my area wasn't the greatest, and private school offered a better education. I have never felt spiritual, or seen a need to be. I have no interest in being part of any religion at the moment, and I don't believe I ever will. I am very interested in world religions, however, and I have read extensively about many of them. Organized religion usually teaches people that anyone who doesn't agree with what they believe are wrong, and I don't like that.

I learned the 10 Commandments in elementary school, and I have always obeyed all of them except the ones about worshipping god and going to church. I think that any human being with decency toward others shouldn't have a problem obeying the 10 Commandments. They have little to do with Christianity, and a lot to do with simply being a good person. No one should lie, no one should murder people. It doesn't matter if they are Christians, Muslims, Jews, Atheists, etc. I treat people with respect because I expect to be treated with respect. I am nice to people because it makes me happy to be nice. It has nothing to do with religion.

I understand that some people need to believe that there is something more to life, and that they are working toward heaven. Some people rely on their belief in god to get through every single day, and they pray when things are hard. I respect the reasons some people depend on religion to live, but it's just not for me. I would much rather take comfort in the belief that I am self-sufficient, and I will always be able to overcome any hardships I come across in life. I have not needed to ask god for help in my life, and I am not about to start now. I am capable of doing things without believing that there is some big man in the sky helping me out.

(both photos by me)

I don't consider myself particularly spiritual. If I were to lean toward any sort of religion at all, it would definitely be some sort of pagan religion that focuses on the worship of nature. I do think that there is some sort of energy about the earth that is very sacred, but I don't really think it is any type of god being. I think that humanity is definitely connected in that we all need the same basic requirements to live, and we all have the right to live our lives in the way that we see fit. I do think that karma exists, and I think that you get back what you put out into the world. Doing good or bad won't determine what happens to you after you die. I believe that you only have one life, and that when you die, that's it-- you are dead. I find it strange that people focus so much time and energy worshiping a god so that they will have a perfect life after death. I think that my way of belief causes me to appreciate each day more, because I know that once I die, that will be it. I have to make the most of my life, because once it is gone, I won't have anything else. I don't believe in heaven or hell. I don't think that we will come back, or see our loved ones again.

As for politics-- I hate talking about politics because everyone always wants to argue about them. I tend to stay far away from discussing politics if at all possible. I will say that I do consider myself a liberal, I am pro-choice (in certain circumstances), I am for gay marriage, and I voted for Barack Obama. And that is all. No further discussion.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

day 18 : your views on gay marriage

Cade's at work until midnight tonight because they're doing inventory, so I'm bored alone at home (and posting tomorrow's truth tonight!) and trying not to be a scaredy-cat.

I am a huge, huge, huge supporter of the gay community. My best friend, Miguel, is gay. I have known many wonderful gay people in my life. I went to Catholic grade school and high school, so it was drilled into my head that being gay is evil and wrong, but I have never felt that way, for some reason. It just never made sense to me. Now that I live in the super-conservative, Christian south, I am shocked by how openly people seem to voice their ignorance-- be it racism, religious intolerance, or yes, even homophobia. It makes my blood boil when I hear someone spewing intolerant garbage about other people.

I have removed portions of this entry at the request of a reader.

(my high school classmate, Kevin)

My blood pressure goes up every time I recall that scenario, for sure. Even now, as I write this, I am seething. In the world that we live in today, hatred is SO prevalent. Love is a beautiful, beautiful thing and it is meant to be celebrated. If the way that someone chooses to celebrate their love is through marriage, then they should be allowed to do so. I think it is ridiculous for anyone to think that they have the right to stand in the way of any couple's right to get married. Maybe you don't agree with homosexuality, but it is never going to affect you, or your life. No one ever stood in front of a man and woman and told them that they shouldn't be allowed to get married for whatever reason, so it shouldn't happen to gay couples.

Love doesn't see a gender.

(my friends, Trent & Dustin)

day 17 : a book you’ve read that changed your views on something

I first read The Diary of Anne Frank in 5th grade, and it has always stuck with me. If I ever feel down about my situation, or start wallowing in my own petty misery, I try to remember Anne Frank. She saw the ugliest side of human nature, and experienced the most horrible examples of mistreatment, and yet she still found a way to be happy, and see the beauty in life.

These are some of my favorite Anne Frank quotes:

Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains.

I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation of confusion, misery and death... I think... peace and tranquility will return again.

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.

(images via weheartit)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

day 16 : someone or something you definitely could live without

Unhealthy, chemical-laden, processed foods.

As soon as we make enough money to buy separate groceries, I fully intend on creating a healthy diet for myself that includes tons of organic produce, whole foods that don't come in plastic packaging and require the use of a microwave to cook them. Unfortunately, money is an issue (isn't it always?) and my Mister is the pickiest eater in all of the land. I've been trying to grab more healthy choices for myself when we go shopping, but we still end up buying a bunch of junk that no one should ever be eating. Cade refuses to try eating any vegetables or fruits because he insists he has already tried them all and they are disgusting, so I can't really spend all our grocery money on things that only one of us can eat. I can't wait to be able to afford to buy myself all the yummy healthy foods I want so that I can eat better and fuel my body with good things, not crap.

Monday, July 19, 2010

day 15 : something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it

Cade. It's as simple as that. I know that despite any rough patches we go through in our relationship, we are always better when we are with each other. I learned that I do not need him in my life, but I want him in it. You should never need another person, it's unhealthy. But to want someone in your life, every moment of every day, because you feel that much more fulfilled when they are part of it, is the most amazing feeling in the world.

day 14 : a hero that has let you down

I rarely stop to think about who I consider a hero. A hero is someone who can stand up for what is right, even if it isn't easy to do. They are a person who knows what to do in the most difficult situation, and they put others above themselves as often as possible. A true hero is someone that learns from their mistakes and grows beyond them. A hero, to me, can't let you down. That is what makes them a hero, because of their unrelenting ability to do good.

My mom is my biggest hero, and she has never let me down. We've had moments throughout my life where things weren't the greatest, but we have always come through them. I miss her so much and I can't wait to go home to visit her and the rest of my family as soon as possible.

/end cheese.

day 13 : a band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days

I decided to take the weekend off from blogging, but I'm back to catch up on 3 entries for the 30 Days of Truth challenge :)

I thought for a long time about which band/artist I wanted to choose for this prompt, and it was so hard to come up with something. I definitely use music as therapy for hard times, and I love hearing lyrics that I identify with that speak directly about my situation. I can't say that I have one single band that I go for when I'm feeling down, but I definitely seem to listen to a lot of Nelly Furtado's music lately. She seems like such a strong individual who is sure of who she is as a person and what she wants. She isn't ashamed of who she is and I strive to be more like that every day.

Here are a few of her lyrics that I especially like:

I remember the days when I was so eager to satisfy you And be less then I was just to prove I could walk beside you Now that I�'ve flown away I see you�'ve chosen to stay behind me And still you curse the day I decided to stay true to myself
-- ...On the Radio

I can't believe you need me I never thought would be needed for anything I can't believe my shoulder would carry such important weight As your head and your tears I can't believe you chose me, in all my fragility, me It hurts so much when i love you, it makes me cry Every time You, you are, oh you are The little boy made for me in the stars In the stars, that's why I can't let you go The little boy made for me in the stars That's why I love you more the further I go And before this existence you were always there Waiting for me You are, you are the realest thing I know Hands down -- Childhood Dreams

No tengo armas para enfrentarte, pongo mis manos, manos al aire. Sólo me importa amarte, en cuerpo y alma, como era ayer.
-- Manos Al Aire

I look in the mirror, the picture's getting clearer
I wanna be myself but does the world really need her
I ache for this earth I stopped going to church See god in the trees makes me fall to my knees My depression keeps building like a cup overfilling My heart so rigid I keep it in the fridge It hurts so bad that i can't dry my eyes 'cause they keep on refillin' with the tears that I cry
-- Te Busque

Friday, July 16, 2010

day 12 : something you never get compliments on

My earlobes, my knees, my musical taste, my boyfriend**.

(**he gave me all of these answers)

Thursday, July 15, 2010

spooky little girl

The second book my mom sent me is Spooky Little Girl by Laurie Notaro. The story is about a girl named Lucy who returns from a girls-only vacation to find that her fiance has thrown all of her things out on the lawn, locked her out of their house and he won't answer her phone calls. She gets fired from her job, and then to top it all off, she gets hit by a bus and dies.

She wakes up in ghost school, where she needs to learn how to properly haunt, and all there is to know about being a supernatural entity. She desperately wants to find out why she was tossed out of her home without explanation and why she was wrongfully fired.

I thought that this book was hilarious. The author had a really funny conversational tone throughout the book, and it seemed like it was a friend telling the story. It had a lot of funny parts and some parts that were touching, they actually made me tear up a little bit. I'm looking forward to checking out some more books by Laurie Notaro, because I've read that a lot of people think she's funny (and I like funny books). Let me know if any of you have read any other books by her, or if you plan on checking this book out!


Nothing really exciting going on over here, but a few things:

  • my raise finally went through at work!! I passed my national pharmacy technician exam back in February, but my raise hasn't been put through until now. I'm so relieved!!

  • I'm working on my hours to get my Louisiana technician's license. We didn't need to have a license in Pennsylvania, so it's really weird to me that we need to have one here. I have my permit and I have to get 600 hours under a pharmacist's watch before I have my license.

  • I finished reading the second book that my mom sent me last night, so I'll do a review on that later. I've been dying to read Eat, Pray, Love now that Chelsey recommended it to me. I read the excerpt on Amazon and now I need more! I am waiting for my mom to mail it to me (she owns it) but I am getting impatient!

  • I'm going to an estate sale tonight (my first one!) with Cade and my friend Trent and his boyfriend Dustin. I'm so excited! I doubt I'm going to buy anything, but it will be fun to check out what they have. I'll be sure to post pictures if I buy anything.

Oh, and does anyone have any recommendations for any really good books they've read lately? I'm on a reading kick and I'm almost out of books here. I couldn't bring my entire book collection with me when I moved, so I only brought the series I was reading at the time I moved (Sookie Stackhouse). I already finished all the Sookie Stackhouse books that are out :(

So, anything good?

day 11 : something people seem to compliment you the most on

My eyes :)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

day 10 : someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know


Honestly, I don't think I have someone for this prompt. I have tried to remove all the negative people from my life, and I am pretty sure they are all gone. It really feels good to surround yourself with positive people who are excited about life. It's important to me to remain optimistic in spite of anything bad that happens. Negativity breeds negativity, and I don't want to have anything to do with negative people.

Life is too short not to be happy :)

day 09 : someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted

My best childhood friend, Mary. We were inseparable throughout elementary and middle school. We were different from the other girls in our class in so many ways, ways that brought us so close. Our passions were reading, writing and exploring the world. We loved to play with dolls and use our imaginations to create the worlds they lived in. We sewed clothes for our dolls, created furniture and notebooks for them. We cooked (well, mostly she cooked and I watched) and made movies. We dreamed about being best friends forever, until we lived in the same nursing home as old ladies.

We went to different high schools and slowly we stopped talking often. Then we stopped talking at all. We made different friends and moved on with our lives. We haven't really spoken to each other since we were freshmen. I still regret it painfully to this day, because I know we are still the same wide-eyed girls hungry to learn about the world, and we could still be best friends.

I miss you, Mary.